Men given to tears are good.

There has been a traditional image of western men as macho "John Wayne type" characters swaggering dry-eyed through life with weeping frail women clinging to their strong arm. In fact pioneering women in the Old West were probably as tough as old boots with little time for copious weeping.

So, is crying for men sissy, or just a natural phenomenon that has its place and purpose? As little children, boys cry as much as girls in order to alert their parents to hunger, discomfort and pain, but as we grow we begin to get criticism. "Don't be a cry baby". "Big boys don't cry". We come to regard ceasing to cry as being grown up. But is it a good thing to stifle tears? Medical opinion would appear to be that over-repressing emotions can lead to stress and heart attacks.

It seems that it really all depends on the type of crying - babyish whining in a grown man or woman is unbecoming, but real emotion expressed in a few tears communicates genuineness. Most adult males are moved to tears by severe emotional onslaughts such as the death of a close friend or relative, and, generally speaking, women are probably more given to expressing their feelings with tears.

Does this mean that a man who cries more easily than average is effeminate, or even cowardly, as some might imply? Well, this blog was inspired by Sir Winston Chuchill and he was regularly in tears. Now, who would say that someone who was involved in most of the wars of his century, took part in cavalry charges, rescued wounded soldiers from the Boers, escaped single-handedly from prisoner-of-war camp, and finally became the great hero who defeated the Nazis, was effeminate?

Strong men can have strong emotions and a few tears show how genuine they are. The important thing is that tears should not stop a man from doing his duty. Who cares if a hero's eyes are full of tears as he saves the day - better a wet-eyed saviour than a dry-eyed skulk.


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Love makes passion, but money makes marriage

This old French proverb" L'amour fait rage, mait l'argent fait marriage" could be the gold digger's favorite saying but it makes a lot of sense. In days gone by in the western world (as in some eastern countries today) marriages were contracted for mutual advantage of the families involved - love came by chance if at all.
Some people say that all the secret passages in old castles were not so much for escaping your enemies but were mostly used by those in lovelorn marriages slipping off to their lovers. Today most people fall in love and worry about the practical problems later. Marriage for many is a non starter.
If we were perfectly balanced people our reasoning half would insist on putting the practical foundations of life in order first i.e. job, steady income, place to live, before allowing emotions any freedom, but most people want love to spring into their lives uninvited and to carry them off in a torrent of passion with fate left to take care of the nitty-gritty. Nice work if you can get it!


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You may gape long enough ere a bird fall into your mouth.

Looking and wishing will not get you very far if you really want something you need to put in the effort to get it. Too many people spend their lives waiting for something good to happen and end up disappointed. So how do you get going? Shakespeare said "There is a tide in the affairs of man, which, taken at the flood, leads on to success". Getting you timing right is essential for most enterprises: "Sow when dry, set when wet" our agricultural ancestors would murmur, or note: "The early bird gets the worm". Lessons from nature are all around us and from time to time someone crystallises them into a saying or proverb. Stay alert, be active seek wisdom and one day you might discover your own proverb, to be passed down the generations. Standing gaping will not get you very far.


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Knowledge is a treasure, but practise is the key to it.

To anyone struggling to play a musical instrument this is painfully obvious. The treasure houses of knowledge are usually very well fortified and to gain entry and enjoy the good things within takes time and regular effort. People are not born wise, "you cannot put a young head on old shoulders". Nowadays with the Internet knowledge is everywhere and available at the click of a button but in order for it to be of any use it is necessary to be selective and to work regularly at absorbing facts and methods into the mind. Only then will you have the key to unlock the treasure chests of knowledge and gain the many benefits of attainment.


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Those who make best use of their time have none to spare.

A lack of time seems to be a modern complaint - we have romantic images of a bucolic past when everyone had loads of time to chat with neighbors, potter in the garden and leisurely chew on a straw. This old saying appears to suggest otherwise - for busy people lack of time has always been a problem.

Another saying "Work expands to fill the time allocated to it" is supposed to be a practise of the lazy who will dawdled and delay until the last minute and then complain of a lack of time. So there appears to be two types of people who are short of time - the over workers and the under workers - but how does the ordinary individual with a balanced approach to life cope with time management? Do proverbs give us any guidance?

Well how about: "Don't bite off more than you can chew"? Keep your workload to sensible levels and learn your limits and try to work within them.

"Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today". Work efficiently and don't let small tasks accumulate. Try to deal with them as they come up if possible - visiting the same task twice is a waste of time.
"Lost time is never found again" This we all know but is a reminder to use time effectively.

"Where there's a will there's a way" Many an individual has pitted their wits against a problem when all others have passed it by and eventually they have succeeded but the cost in time is usually great. Be determined but be wary of pigheadedness leading you to horrendous time costs. Even if you do succeed will it be worth it?

"Time and tide wait for no man" This being so it is essential to be like the Boy Scout and "be prepared" so that your precious time is used as it should. Having to go back to base because you have forgotten a tool etc. wastes everybody's time.

"Time brings roses" Most worthwhile things take time and we need to cultivate patience. Waiting for something can be agonising, especially for the young who are often wishing their time away, but whilst waiting for a main event try filling in the gaps with something useful. Having an improving book to hand helps to use spare moments productively as they come up.

Time destroys all things" As we grow older we realise that our time is limited and we often wish we had spent it more wisely - there seemed so much of it when we were young. Change is constant and we see the things that were an important part of our life fade and disappear. Time never stands still and where there is time there is change.

"Time is money" This saying is a rod for our backs. Self-employed people soon realise the truth of this and it can drive some people to wreck their health whilst it spurs others to wealth achievement and fulfilment. Don't let it become your master.

Time is the great teacher. How often do we wish we had known something when we were young? Some lessons are painfully learned over a period of time and the realisation that, if only you had had the right instruction much of the pain could have been avoided, can be quite bitter.

"Time is the rider that breaks in youth". This is much the same as above - with the passing of time we experience and learn often from "the school of hard knocks".

"Time tries truth" Things we believed in passionately in youth can seem less certain with age and experience. Mass movements that enthral a generation can seem clearly flawed to the next one. With the passing of time and new perspectives apparent certainties crumble to dust and blow away on the wind of knowledge and understanding.

"Time passes, sayings endure" This is surely one to end on. Use your time wisely - you only get one allocation!


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He that counts all costs will never put plough to earth.

Our agricultural forebears would have known the literal wisdom of this observation. Today it might apply to starting a business where looking at all the things that might go wrong would put you off. At some point it is necessary for most undertakings to assess the risk and be prepared to accept that though there is a reasonable chance of success a possibility of failure exists. No enterprise is a sure thing we must have a little courage and accept the costs and problems that come along.


Due to time pressures this blog will change from daily to weekly.




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None so well shod but they may slip.

You can take all the right precautions but the unexpected can take you by surprise. This sounds like an advert for insurance and it is an awareness of unlikely accidents that presumably motivates most people to consider a suitable policy. In the modern world where we rely on our computers this leads us to think of the importance of keeping good backup. Expecting the unexpected constantly could drive a person to a nervous breakdown so common sense is required. The worst rarely happens but some sensible precautions can give peace of mind.




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A whet is no let

This is a saying our agricultural ancestors would have understood. Stopping to sharpen the scythe with a whetstone increases cutting efficiency and boosts production. How many times in our lives do we struggle on with the equivalent of a blunt scythe? An old computer with a clogged hard drive or out of date software reduces our production in the same way great granddad might have hashed away with his blunt scythe. Taking the time to review your working efficiency and improve it could mean an overall gain. So don't swear at your tools - find the equivalent of a whetstone and make them sharp again.


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A beard well lathered is half shaved.

Literally this is perfectly true as anyone who has had to shave without soap will testify. Here we are being counselled to follow the Boy Scout motto of "Be Prepared" The importance of good preparation in all walks of life cannot be over stressed. If you acquire the correct information, clean and sharpen your tools, have all the materials you need to hand, and work to a methodical, well thought out plan, any job should go smoothly and efficiently. This applies in the practical world as well as the realms of intellectual endeavour.


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The dog gnaws the bone because he cannot swallow it.

A first sight this seems so obvious that it is hardly worth stating but as usual with proverbs there is more to it than meets the eye. When a job, task or problem is too great the thing to do is to break it down to its component parts and deal with them bit by bit. Another saying echoing this idea is "Don't bite off more than you can chew". If you have ever been confronted by a mountain of work and left it alone because it seemed so overwhelming you need to learn to "gnaw" at it. Each part is probably fairly easy and with a regular systematic approach the job will soon be done. As the Scots say: "Many a mickle maks a muckle."


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He that is too secure is not .

This is a warning against complacency. If everything in your life is going along quite happily you forget that there are many dangers and difficulties lurking in the background. A spell of excellent weather leads to an assumption that the next day will be the same as the last. If your old reliable car has never given any trouble you get to assuming that it will always start. If there has never been a burglary in your neighbourhood you stop thinking of the possibility. It is therefore a good practice to give some thought to things going wrong and be prepared for the eventuality. It doesn't do to go over the top and worry about every little thing - sensible precautions looked over regularly will bring peace of mind and more real security.



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A friend's frown is better than a fool's smile.

When someone smiles we take it as a sign that they are well inclined towards us and this usually makes us happy. Frowns have the opposite effect. Smiles are encouraging, frowns discouraging. A fool's smile might therefore encourage us to do the wrong thing and a friend's frown might discourage us from the wrong thing. Recognising life's cues and signals and judging them correctly helps to sort the successful from the failures. Good advice, even if it isn't what you want to hear, is better than bad advice or encouragement which is going to lead you astray. So when your friends frown pay heed or the fools will end up laughing at you.


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The fool wanders far, the wise man travels.

To get where you want to be it is a good thing to know the route and to plan your journey. Aimless wandering might enable you to stumble across a suitable place but it is a highly inefficient method. Journeys are not just travel across the globe, we make many journeys in life: from birth to death, from ignorance to wisdom, from poverty to riches, from loneliness to love. This proverb tells us to be methodical, find a "map" and seek good counsel before embarking on any of life's journeys. Having noted all that, a life without a little aimless wandering would perhaps be a bit boring; after all some of the best discoveries in science and elsewhere have come by chance but the prepared mind can spot their value and take action.



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He that stumbles and falls not, mends his pace.

This is all about learning from experience. Most young people who have passed their driving test will have a scary moment - perhaps cornering too quickly and losing control. This, at worst, can result in a fatality but hopefully it is just sufficient to give them a good fright from which they learn a very real lesson. Humans, as well as other animals, tend to learn from actual examples - does anyone ever understand that fire burns just by being told? Metaphorically people can "burn their fingers" in many ways: rash stock market investment, dangerous sports, failed business ventures, soured relationships - an endless list. The important thing is to learn from experience and grow wise before a real disaster gets you. If you stumble, mend your pace!



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Light your lamp before it becomes dark.

This Arabic proverb echoes the basic idea of many other sayings that urge us to be prepared for eventualities. Try fumbling around in the dark for your flint and tinder and you would soon understand the wisdom of this. Good planning and preparation are essential for a well ordered life. "Have not your cloak to make when it starts to rain" covers the same idea. Like all proverbs it has other depths of meaning. On a spiritual plane we are being cautioned to prepare ourselves for death whilst the light of life still burns. On a practical level this might lead you to make a will so that your wishes are followed rather than leaving a mess for expensive lawyers to sort out. "A little forethought saves much afterthought" so make a habit of lighting your lamp before it is dark.



"You are nearest to God in a garden"
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Fall not out with a friend for a trifle.

Have you ever fallen out with a friend over a silly argument and found yourself in a vicious spiral? When love turns to hate it can be particularly venomous. If you see that this is about to happen it might pay you to consider apologising if you were at fault and even if you were not it could be better to make a sacrifice and accept the blame in order to protect a friendship that is worth preserving - that is a heroic thing to do. The power of Christianity and other great religions often comes from an innocent taking the sins of others on their shoulders - that is true courage and will eventually win respect.

A disease known is half cured.

If you know what you are dealing with you can then spend energy on hunting the solution. This applies in medicine but also in other walks of life where problems must be solved. In an exam many students who know the answer cannot give it because they don't understand the question. Focus your attention on getting a clear grasp of any problem that confronts you and with that squarely in mind you will begin to see where to look for answers.


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The lower millstone grinds as well as the upper.

The top dog in any organisation might think that he is the most important person there but without his subordinates he would be impotent. This saying is reminding us that most successes are made from team work and all levels of an group contribute to the overall achievement. It encourages mutual respect for the participants of any combination of peoples for a common goal. So don't grind your workers underfoot learn to grind together and there will be plenty of flour for all.



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The eye is bigger than the belly

No, this is not describing a circus freak show from a bygone age, we deal here with the human instinct to overindulge. Everyone learns in infancy that cramming in too much food results in sickness and pain but do we learn? Usually for a while we are wiser but the temptation slips back in as the memory of painful spewing retreats. Over indulgence is not confined just to food - humans, given the chance, will drink to excess, gamble to ruination or accumulate wealth to obscene unnecessary lengths. The problem is we don't know when to stop. The acquisition instinct seems to be powered by our imaginations and sense of insecurity. Self-discipline is a desirable trait to develop but most people seem to need pain or fear to remind them of the folly of overdoing it. "A little of what you fancy does you good" but don't let your eye get bigger than your belly.


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To spare at the spigot and let run at the bung.

Carefully measuring off wine at the tap whilst it is has an unchecked, leaky bung is an obvious folly but how many times do we do the equivalent without noticing? Are you penny wise and pound foolish? Do you fuss a lot with minor detail and ignore major problems lurking in the background? The general who prides himself on the appearance of his troops but neglects to train them in their core skills will lose the battle. The businessman who constantly counts his money but neglects to get customers in and sell will go bust. There is a need to keep things in proportion and take an overall view of your activities. Are you focussing on the right areas? Are their growing problems developing in the background? By all means be spare at the spigot but watch out for that leaking bung!


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