You may give him good advice, but who can give him the wit to take it?

This is a saying that might have the ladies smiling a knowing smile, and brings to mind some lines by the Scottish poet Robert Burns:

"O gentle dames it gars me greet (makes me cry)
Tae see how many counsels sweet
How many lengthy, sage advices
The husband frae the wife despises."

How often in your life have you been given what you know to be good advice but failed to take it? Humans are not entirely rational beings and our emotional impulses often outweigh reasoned thought.

However, part of what a man loves in a woman is the irrational, exuberant disregard for reason when they allow their hearts to overrule their heads and fall in love with him.

Better a blush on the face than a spot on the heart

The day and age of the "nice girl" seems to have vanished, at least in those who fall under the media spotlight. Laddette culture seems to demand the very lowest taste and cheapest values. It used to be argued by feminists that men kept women in subjugation and used them for their own selfish desires. But what has happened to the modern woman with freedom? -- she often behaves like a slut and describes it as empowerment. It is a true saying that it takes two to tango.

There was a time when girls excised self control, self respect and decency. It didn't mean that they hadn't any feelings or natural desires just a wish to retain their dignity and postpone pleasure till the appropriate time. A blush shows that a person, whose natural feelings and instincts have been aroused, perhaps inappropriately, feels embarrassed; but this confirms the innate decency of the person as their civilised mind struggles to control their instinctive programming.

By exercising discipline and control we can avoid allowing our instinctive side to leads us into actions that our better half will regret later.

In the film "Gone with the Wind" the two girls are the two sides of the author's nature -- the good, sensible girl that she was, and the suppressed, wild one that could only be indulged in fiction. In the ideal person we need to have a balance -- you can't be too good and it is advisable not to be too bad. A blush will help to warn you that you might be about to do something that will come back to haunt you.

To lead a life of total goodness would be too boring for most people but you have to decide what kind of person you are. Humans come in a bewilderingly wide range of types -- different standards, values and attitudes apply to each.

You will experience most grief if you act out of character. For example, if you are a basically "nice girl next door" type, a wild, drunken orgy on holiday will probably be bitterly regretted especially when the self-respecting guy who is attracted to your natural self discovers this aberration. The best you can hope for is that he has a forgiving nature and you don't have any competition.

The magic of falling in love often enables us to forgive and forget past errors but when love is tested by time old wounds can open and bleed afresh.

It could take a whole lot of tears to wash away the spot that a blush might have prevented.

Women's Wisdom

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Respect yourself or no one else will

Charity begins at home and so does self respect. Treating yourself properly sets a standard that others can recognise. If you dress badly, eat foolishly, act promiscuously and drink to excess you are sending out a message that you don't hold yourself in high regard. The result is that others do the same they treat you by the same standards.

If you look after yourself and project the image of a valued, well-cared for person people will expect to deal with you on the same terms. Consider how public property is often vandalised and maltreated -- it lacks an owner's pride and attention so the public treat it with contempt. The same applies to people -- set your personal standards high and expect others to do the same.

Respect, yes, but remember that pride comes before a fall so reasonable humility will gain you more respect than arrogant assumptions of superiority.

Women's Wisdom

Monday is the key of the week

This appears to be a musical analogy. If you hit the right note to begin with the melody of the week will flow harmoniously. Getting off to a good start sets the tone for what follows -- well begun is half done. Start off on the right foot.

Thinking of locks it might refer to opening or beginning when you prepare for what is to follow. A good plan or strategy for the week will ease the flow of work and increase productivity.

Thought of as a keystone it might be seen as the connection between one week and the next.

Purchase the next world with this; you will win both

If we assume that the next word is a place of perfection, and the entry standards are high, it makes sense to be getting into good shape to pass the exams.

This saying appears to be suggesting that by pursuing levels of excellence with a view to "celestial glory" we will do ourselves a great deal of good here on Earth. If you practise the traditional values of the major world religions they should make you a more dependable, trustworthy person. When others recognise this they will feel safe in your company and trust you in business matters.

So, by preparing for Heaven you gain the world.



Women's Wisdom

When the play is best it is best to leave

Now it is unlikely that this is meant to be taken literally -- how would we ever get our money's worth?

At the present time we have lived through financial turmoil with house prices crashing and stocks sinking but not so long ago everything seemed rosy. "If only we had sold when things were going so well," the cry goes up.

Those who left when the play was at its best knew a thing or two.

Women's Wisdom

Rest and success are fellows

We are often led to believe that success comes from excessive effort -- tales of high-powered executives working eighteen hour days abound but there must be a limit.

If your job is very exciting and you can regard it as your hobby as well as your work then the long hours might be less wearisome. However, a tired, stressed person is unlikely to make good judgements so it is necessary to get adequate rest to recharge your batteries. The establishment of Sunday as a day of rest probably boosted production in the long run.

Some high achieving people like Sir Winston Churchill strongly believed in the importance of an afternoon nap. Rested and invigorated the mind will function better. Success in difficult circumstances will sometimes require a long burst of sustained effort so it is important to be at your best and fittest when the supreme challenge arises and you have to keep going till you drop.

Women's Wisdom

Reckless youth makes rueful age

When we are young life stretches out for ever -- old is what somebody else is. We have strength and vigour; late nights and excesses can be coped with. Live for today -- the future will take care of itself.

We eventually learn the truth but by that time a lot of damage has been done. The cry goes up: "If only I had listened." But can the young learn from being told? Without some experience words are just words.

If you want to pass on your wealth of knowledge from "been there, done that" you need to find a way to give the young the equivalent of a flu jag. A limited experience sufficient to provide a stimulus to learn that wises up its recipient without permanent damage.

Rest and success are fellows

Hard work over time generally brings advantage. So it is a good thing then? Well, like all good things, too much tips you into a bad place.

Wise people know the benefits of a well-rested body and mind. There might be times in your life when the pressures mount and it is extremely difficult to cope. You might end up sleep deprived and suffering physical deterioration. It goes without saying that this is something to avoid but if you find yourself in this situation it might be necessary to grit your teeth and summon every reserve you have to struggle through.

However, in normal circumstances you should plan to have proper rest and relaxation so that you are more able to head off a crisis before it fully strikes. Prevention is better than cure.

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Prosperity destroys fools and endangers the wise

Success breeds complacency. If you are not very wise you will tend to assume that riches and happiness are your right and entitlement. You might even assume that your good fortune is part of the natural order of things.

The wise person might not be so naive and have some awareness that good times can vanish but when things have been good for a long time even the knowledgeable can be lulled into a false sense of security. They know things can go wrong but not always when. As a result they can be caught napping.

Just as Caesar employed someone to stand behind him, as he received the adulation of the crowds, to remind him he was not a god, you might be wise to put a note of this saying somewhere as an aide memoire.

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Repentance is the May of the virtues

There are times in life when you get it wrong. "You screw up" in modern parlance. So how do you react? Most of us tend to retreat into denial: we look for excuses, justifications or escape clauses. But sometimes there aren't any so you must "fess up", take the rap, hold up your hands, take it on the chin.

Once you accept your wrongdoing and see no wriggle room what is the best way forwards? When you have achieved the state of mind of paying the price or accepting due punishment you are ready to repent: to show contrition and make amends.

This saying suggests penitence is a time of renewal just like May is the time of year when new growth recreates the glories of Nature. Having acknowledged your wrongdoing and accepted the consequences you can move on and renew your life.

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He that is worst may still hold the candle

Imagine a disaster scene where people are trapped in a collapsed building. Many are injured and the fit desperately try to dig their way out. It makes sense that one of the wounded holds the candle whilst the able work.

This saying tells us that we should contribute to life as much as we can even if we are disadvantaged. The old lady who makes the tea while the young and vigorous apply themselves to the task at hand makes a very useful contribution. The elderly gentleman who grows some organic vegetables to help feed his grandchildren because the parents are too busy contributes according to his ability and circumstances.

We all have something to give or contribute to the general well-being no matter how poorly or hard done by we are, and in return we share in the success.

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Who lives without folly is not so wise as he thinks

The 17th-century physicist-turned-theologian Blaise Pascal said, "The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." This appears to be warning us against the total reliance on logic or what might appear to be logic.

Life is immensely complex and the ability of the human mind to absorb information and process it is limited. This is perhaps why Nature has equipped us with intuition and instinct. Creative people are aware that there is often an "unseen hand" involved in their works; they might attribute this to the subconscious or God or some unknowable force.

The "folly" in this saying is not foolishness but that more playful, instinctive side that we all have but which tends to get suppressed in the need to conform and hold down a regular job. Those individuals whose lot in life is to follow their hearts will know highs and lows; the strict logician will shake his head, but we are meant to live in a harmonious balance between emotion and reason.


Women's Wisdom

The tree falls not at the first stroke

The lumberjack sharpens his axe, rolls up his sleeves and lays into the tree with a will. If it has worthwhile timber it will take many skilful blows to bring it down before conversion to a useful purpose begins.

This saying uses a metaphor to make us aware that anything worthwhile takes time and effort. You must prepare, equip yourself with the right resources and take time to apply your skills to the task. Some trees are awkward to fell: their branches tangle with others or they lean at an troublesome angle. Other life tasks have equivalent problems.

Just as the good woodman will show preparation, patience and perseverance, you also must use these qualities as you tackle your own tasks.

Women's Wisdom

The wife is the key of the house

In a day and age of gender equality does this saying still apply?

The traditional housewife might have been thought of as subservient to her husband but most men used to refer to their wives as "the boss". The lady of the house was the home manager controlling the budget and making most of the decisions. Would the average male still be living in a cave if it wasn't for his better half nagging for something grander?

This saying recognises the traditional arrangement where the man was the nominal head of the family but the real power lay with the demure little lady. The power of a sharp tongue has sent many a physically powerful man cringing to his lair. "Yes, dear. Of course, dear." Anything for a bit of peace!

But again old-fashioned true love might have had something to do with it.

Women's Wisdom

Health is better than wealth

"You never miss the water till the well runs dry" is a very true saying where health is concerned.

Most of us are lucky and we grow up with adequate food, suffering only from the common childhood ailments like coughs colds, and measles. Our immune systems strengthen and we reach adulthood well equipped to cope and survive.

But it is easy to fall into lax ways, there are many temptations: we can overeat, choose the wrong diet, start smoking, drink to excess and experiment with drugs. All these take a toll on the healthy body that is our right and duty to maintain. You can reach a stage where all the money in the world will not save you from an early and unpleasant death.

It makes sense to develop moderate habits and enjoy the good things in life in a thoughtful manner. By staying healthy your chance of being fit and capable will greatly enhance your likelihood of earning a living and even ending up wealthy.

It has to be said that those who are lucky enough to have a good start in life from parents who have reasonable incomes do have an advantage. It is important to build on your strengths and use your available money to acquire health knowledge and good quality foods.

Health helps wealth and wealth helps health. Don't wait till the well runs dry; act now and harvest the benefits all your life.

Women's Wisdom

Look after number one

Human beings are social animals: we are born into a family and usually exist in a community group; be it extended family, neighbourhood or tribe. We have duties and obligations to the other members. In some circumstances we might even be called upon to make the supreme sacrifice of our lives to save the others. Brave men and women give their lives in the defence of family and tribe.

So how does this fit with the saying: "Look after number one"? You have a duty to self: if you don't keep fit and well you will become a burden to others. You won't be able to pull your weight and do your bit when the need arises.

It follows that you must strike a balance between your own personal interests and needs, and those people to whom you have an obligation of support. By looking after number one you will be in a better position to care for and assist the numerous others who depend on you.

Think of ease but work on

This is very straightforward: anyone who has to toil at a task that is difficult or boring has a small voice within saying, "Oh for goodness sake give this up and have a rest!"

If you were a carefree, wandering minstrel you might do just that but would you ever be able to pay your way? Sadly, for most of us, the daily grind is a necessity. When things get tough we have to find the inner resources to cope and keep going.

Yes, it is pleasant to think ahead to our leisure hours and perhaps even a golden retirement but in the short term you must "grin and bear it".

He whose belly is full believes not him whose is empty

We are all prone to complacency: when things are going well we do not want to hear the complaints of the poor and unfortunate.

It gives us an uncomfortable feeling to listen to a view of life that disturbs our calm. We find it easier to believe that the poor are responsible for their own follies. If they would work harder or be more disciplined then they would do OK. Their reasons for poverty sound like excuses.

So we bury our heads in the sand and try to ignore unpleasant truths. But beware: He that is too secure is not. It might be that at leased a proportion of the suffering really do have grievances that need to be addressed.

Your complacency might lead to your undoing. Better to deal with trouble half way rather than let it creep up and confront you with terrifying suddenness.

He who is weighty is willing to be weighed

A nice bit of alliteration here conveys an obvious truth - the genuine person doesn't mind being scrutinised on their claims.

Simple folks at market in days gone by would be conned out of their cash with tricks such as scamsters selling kittens in a bag whilst claiming them to be pigs - hence the expression to buy a pig in a poke (How these sayings love alliteration!) They did not do their due diligence in failing to examine the goods. No doubt if they had sunk a bucketful of beer beforehand they would have been in a happy trusting mood and ripe to be gulled.

This is all about testing the truth. If you are for real then you do not fear, but welcome, trials to prove it. It follows that those who are reluctant to be questioned and assessed must be suspected of potential dishonesty or incompetence.

Those who are talented and able are likely to be willing and eager to demonstrate their accomplishments. They talk the talk and can follow up by walking the walk.

An explanation of the use of alliteration and other poetic devices can be found in the paperback 700 Limericks & How To Write Them by clicking the link above.