Solid pudding is better than empty praise

Words are cheap -- you can easily tell people how wonderful they are and how much you appreciate them, but showing that worth in a meaningful way might be more appropriate. Say it with flowers might have been an advertising slogan originally but it does have a point. A person who is given a bunch of beautiful, sweet-scented flowers has visual evidence that they are appreciated -- something that all the senses can be aware of.

Tradesmen are no doubt not immune to flattery but a cup of coffee or tea shows tangible gratitude. A retiring worker will appreciate the recounting of his many achievements and worthy contributions to the business' success but a good pension and a retirement present helps to make the words more meaningful.

Presenting the lady in your life with a solid pudding might not have quite the result you intended today, but in years gone by when people were much nearer daily starvation than is the modern reality it would have meant a great deal.

How Proverbs Help

Proverbs have practical applications -- they can help you cope with everyday problems.

Let us assume you have been given a task to do, for example: stage a school play. You consider all the snags and problems: need for venue, props; unruly children, unhelpful parents, over helpful parents; the list is endless, you want to give up.

But wait, the proverb: Where there's a will there's a way pops into mind. Countless others have faced similar and worse difficulties and they have come to see that Faith can move mountains so it must be possible. Heartened, you move on and start.

You want it to be good... There could be a promotion if you impress the Head. So can proverbs help again? Of course: Well begun is half done. Here is some wisdom: start off with the right attitude, get the basics right and all will follow.

You are tired and want to wait, but: Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. So, crying: Make hay while the sun shines and Time and tide wait for no man, you leap into action.
After a time you see some achievement but, really, there is a mountain of work to be done, perhaps it's too much. No, remember: Rome wasn't built in a day, just keep going, Lost time is never found again. Keep calm, Slow and steady wins the race.

You progress, but inevitably there are some mistakes: Trial and error waste time, try thinking first, and keep in mind: From little acorns great oaks grow, and for goodness sake Look before you leap. You keep repeating the affirmation: I can and I will.

The kids are coming along fine, enthusiastic parents are making the props, the air is thick with: If at first you don't succeed try, try and try again.

Everything is looking great, but: If something seems too good to be true... The confident young guy who assured you he was a whizz on guitar turns out to know only two chords and that's his limit. Panic! Send him for lessons? No, No good flogging a dead horse, seek a replacement. Every cloud has a silver lining. It turns out the shy boy in the corner has been Hiding his light under a bushel and is a guitar maestro. He's very nervous, you tell him to keep repeating: It will be all right on the night.

Your leading lady has just fallen out with the hero. You cajole her to Let bygones be bygones. You tell him: Faint heart never won fair lady.

The Head drops by and sees all the panic, he smiles benignly and says: To err is human, to forgive divine. You quietly mutter: The devil looks after his own.

A stir heralds the arrival of a new lad. He modestly admits to being the son of an actor and very experienced on stage. You nearly hug him and cry: Cometh the hour cometh the man. He looks embarrassed, the girls all giggle.

The show is a great success but you remember Pride comes before a fall and act modestly and graciously thanking all for their assistance without which your contribution would be nothing. The Head is beaming at you: All is well that ends well.

Seasons greetings to all my readers.

William Clark

Some Evils are Cured by Contempt

Have you ever tried to stop someone doing something that is wrong and realised they just become more obdurate and entrenched in their wrongdoing? Like a limpet that simply grips tighter the more you try to shift it.

By taking a contemptuous attitude and ignoring a problem person you might get the message across that what they are doing is not winning friends and influencing people. When they come to this understanding by themselves it will have greater impact.

Set an example of what is right and if you are looking good, confident and successful others will observe this and wish to emulate it. They will enjoy the idea that they too can then look with contempt at those still mired in evil ways.

Soft Words Win Hard Hearts

This is a truth long known by ladies who in days of warfare and conflict had to ease the mood of men inured to suffering and battle.

But diplomats who wish to bring about peace and reconciliation also have need of such skills. The natural instinct of a battle hardened warrior might be to threaten and bluster but this often just gets the backs of opponents up and guarantees constant conflict.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick", is oft quoted advice for those involved in negotiations. In other words don't try to rub your power advantage into your opposite numbers face but a gentle hint of potential accompanied with conciliatory words can lead to meaningful negotiations.

It costs more to revenge injuries than to bear them

It costs more to revenge injuries than to bear them.

A restaurant mixes up your booking and refuses to return your deposit. You get angry, see a solicitor, he threatens to sue, they pay up then he sends you a bill for more than the original amount. Neighbours in boundary disputes often find themselves in costly litigation for little or no gain. Not worth the candle.

This saying is telling us to at least consider putting up with a slight or small damage or "grin and bear it" if the cost of dealing with it outweighs the gain. However, there is a problem with this attitude because your aggressor, if they decides that your lack of retaliation is a sign of weakens, will simply torment you further. This is the classic behaviour of the bully.

So it all boils down to a judgement call - you can save yourself a lot of bother by putting up with an injury, but if you decide the perpetrator needs a lesson be very careful how you go about it.

Reputation is oft got without merit and lost without crime

Reputation is oft got without merit and lost without crime.

The latest air-head pop star shoots to fame on a lucky-break record and sustains their place in the media spotlight with moronic, outrageous behaviour. A passably attractive girl becomes the girlfriend of a successful star and achieves celebrity status by association. A military commander achieves a victory because his even more incompetent opponent was having a worse than usual off day. Second-rate politicians win elections simply because the public are totally disillusioned with their opponents. These people will often rationalise their success and believe it was due to their inner greatness. When their balloons finally pop they disappear into media oblivion.

People of genuine ability can remain unknown and be "born to bloom and waste their sweetness on the desert air". Those who do gain recognition for their genuine ability are always at the mercy of the undeserved smear or dictates of fashion. Having built someone up the media grow bored and then, like schoolboys who have patiently constructed a sandcastle, take fiendish delight in demolition.

"Life", as they say, "is nine parts cards one part skill".

Too much consulting confounds

Too much consulting confounds.

"Take good advice" is good advice... isn't it?

The trouble is when your ears and eyes are overflowing with information how do you decide what is good and what goes out with the garbage? After all, they also say: "A little learning is a dangerous thing, drink deep or touch not the Pieran spring".

If we assume that there are many roads to Rome and indeed the saying is: "All roads lead to Rome" perhaps we need to find one main source of advice or guidance where the guru has a proven track record, and follow that path.

Good decision makers are people who can cut, like Alexander, "through the Gordian knot", avoid all the irrelevant "noise", "cut to the chase" and "home in" on the essentials. They make it sound so easy but one suspects that long experience or luck plays its part. When it all gets a bit too much for you and the head buzzes with input just remember to KISS:

Keep it Simple Stupid.

Service without reward is punishment

Service without reward is punishment

Service is given and received by many people and varies from the selfless devotion of a mother to the latest slick marketing of something you neither need nor want, with much in-between.

Today, Remembrance Sunday, we remember the armed services and the sacrifices they make in times of trouble. We seek to show our appreciation and offer thanks to all those who gave their lives or suffered dreadful injuries in the pursuit of their duties, not forgetting their loved ones who had to continue alone or under a heavy burden.

For most of us the horrors of war are only in our imaginations and we look upon those brave souls who have been tested in the extremes of conflict as heroes. It is not enough just to admire - we need to show our appreciation in practical ways. Through contributing time, effort and money to appropriate organizations we can demonstrate that we truly do remember them and all the suffering and pain they have endured on our behalf.

Vows made in a storm are forgotten in the calm

Vows made in a storm are forgotten in the calm.

When the pressure is on our desire to be, and to be seen to be, virtuous is great. Most religions teach that there are consequences for wrong doing and that our difficulties and disasters can be seen as a punishment for sins.

In the halcyon days of good times we tend to let our guards down and start indulging in selfish behavior. When hard times come round again we are forced to consider our life styles and accept that perhaps our own actions have contributed to the situation. Our desire to be worthy and good is intensified.

There is a parallel here with politicians who are full of noble ideals and grand intentions in the hard times of opposition but when they finally move into the sunny uplands of government all that gold plating of goodness and virtue starts to wear thin. Eventually the people lose patience and throw them out into the darkness again. And so the cycle goes on.

The eagle does not catch flies.

The eagle does not catch flies.

This is a proverb from the time of the Roman Empire and has passed into many languages. The eagle standard that led the all-conquering army symbolized the mighty ambitions of the rulers of Rome.

Obviously a large bird of prey has to hunt animals of a reasonable size to justify the time and effort and it is this underlying principle that gives the proverb meaning.

One relevant aspect of this saying for today is a caution not to spend time and energy pursuing the insignificant. Everyone is very busy but do we always do too many niggling little tasks when we would be better focussing on major ones? Getting your priorities right means dealing with the big issues and not being bogged down in matters that can wait or be avoided. You might be convincing yourself that you are busy but unless the time and effort produces a meaningful return you are simple wasting time.

Zeal is like fire: it needs feeding and watching.

Zeal is like fire: it needs feeding and watching.

Enthusiasm tends to blaze brightly then fizzle out. How many millions of New Year's resolutions are made annually in a cheery glow of optimism only to have vanished by the end of January?
Sometimes this is because the intention was not properly thought through. The degree of commitment and time was not clearly understood. If a desirable benefit is to be achieved it is usually necessary to be prepared to make sacrifices - the gain must be worth the candle. Ask yourself: is it an achievable worthwhile aim or just a escapist daydream?

Having committed to an enterprise, of whatever sort it, is natural that the original impetus will falter, you should expect this and be prepared for it. It is useful to review and assess your projects from time to time and remember why you started them, and that your goals are worthy of putting up with the downsides. Taking things step by step, with definable goals and rewards along the way, can be an effective technique in maintaining that starting zeal.

May the fires of your life burn forever brightly.

You take more care of your shoe than your foot

You take more care of your shoe than your foot.

How many ladies have risked their feet by wearing fashionable shoes that just don't fit? Probably most. The main purpose of footwear is to protect the feet but the siren call of elegance and allure overwhelm good sense, and the result is ugly bunions, crossed toes and needless suffering. Is it worth it girls? Won't he still love you in a pair of big comfortable boots? If not you could at least give him a better kick!

This saying, at a deeper level, is warning us of the human tendency to get our priorities wrong. We deal with superficialities instead of the real issues. People can become obsessed, for example, with getting money when it is the benefits of money that are important. By budgeting more wisely and making your income go further you can get the same advantages and more time to enjoy them.

Some people will push themselves to a breakdown to afford a big house they do not need, forgeting that it is the happiness of the people living in a house that is the great thing, not merely owning it. Better a happy family in a small house than a miserable one in a mansion.

Wherever a man dwells, there will be a thorn bush near his door

Wherever a man dwells, there will be a thorn bush near his door.

Wherever you live, whatever you do, there will always be problems. Perfection is unknown to mere mortals so you had better get used to life's aggravations because they are never very far away.

Civilization is primarily concerned with Man's attempt to dominate and control his environment. In the early days of life organisms slowly changed, adapted and evolved to the environments in which they lived, but humans learned to adapt the environment itself. But however good we get at it, there is always another problem. Pause for a moment, and Nature seizes the opportunity to fight back.

It follows that your life philosophy must include a "permanent effort" clause. The golden moments when everything is going great do not last, and "constant vigilance" is the watch word. There is always a thorn near you, and the chances are your foot is heading for it.

When the pirate prays, there is great danger

A pirate, we would suppose, is an ungodly, predatory criminal who would laugh sneeringly at his victims who pleaded for mercy and prayed to their god for deliverance. But in his youth he might have had some religious instruction and would know how to pray but have rejected it in favor of a life of excess at other peoples expense. So things would have to be pretty bad before he would drop his wicked ways and turn to god for assistance.

Many people have weak religious convictions and take a skeptical attitude in their daily life but will, in a tight spot, find themselves appealing to forces greater than themselves - a prayer. Winston Churchill, the great war leader, had strict religious instruction in his youth and believed in God without question until as an adult he was exposed to other more scientific-based ideas that weakened his adherence. However, during his turbulent life when he encountered many dangers and difficulties he related that he often found himself praying.

Scientific proof that prayer actually works is hard to come by but most people when they have exhausted their human resources will often pray to what they hope is a greater reality - even the wicked godless pirate. After all, it costs nothing to try except an abandonment of selfish pride.

Where one is wise two are happy

Where one is wise two are happy.
They also say it takes two to make a quarrel and this saying is confirming that. If one individual in a relationship has the sense to avoid an unnecessary row it keeps both parties happy.

Imagine a couple: a very pretty, vain lady without a serious thought in her gorgeous head, prone to rash decisions and ill-thought-out spending sprees. If she is fortunate enough to marry a sensible, well balanced, thoughtful man who loves her deeply and who is patient and understanding, with the good sense to curb and control his wife's waywardness with forethought and planning, she is spared the worst of her own follies and leads a much happier life. Her husband is rewarded through the satisfaction of having such a delightful companion with the greatest of her follies trimmed to a bearable level without totally spoiling the spontaneity that probably attracted him to her in the first place. Result: a happy couple.

And, of course, ladies, it could work in the reverse also.

We hate delay, yet it makes us wise

As we rush around our lives wishing we had more time there are occasions when forces outside our control bring us to a crashing halt. It is frustrating, annoying and sometimes quite maddening; if only the passing hours could be bottled and used when we needed them.

The advocates of positive thinking and right mental attitude will tell us to see adversity as an opportunity -- to turn the negative into the positive. So how do we apply that to this saying.

Compelled to stop what we are doing whilst waiting for something or someone can give a good opportunity for reflection -- time to think about your life and purposes, to evaluate your hurry, and consider opportunities. It is said that Edgar Rice Burrows, delayed on a train trip, spent the time reading a cheap novel. He threw it down in disgust saying: "I could do better myself." Then the idea came to him: "Why not?" He took his own advice and went on to write the world famous "Tarzan" books.

The time to stop and think should be included in all our daily activities but it seldom is and often it is only when forced to a halt by chance do we get the opportunity. So the next time you are unwillingly delayed try a spot of positive thinking, and see if you can bring about an improvement in your life. Every cloud has a silver lining -- just take the time to look for it.

Death is in the pot.

Death is in the pot.

There can be few people today who are unaware of the consequences of a faulty diet. Gone are the days when gorging and over consumption were thought of as the joyful prerogative of the noble and wealthy. They should have cottoned on when King Henry the VIII died of a surfeit of lampreys.

The food we eat has a major influence on the state of our health. Food nutrition scientists now know what common sense used to tell the wise - a varied diet of fresh food keeps us in peak condition and therefore helps to sustain a long life. Modern athletes have their diets scrutinized in the finest detail in order to maximize their fitness and functioning efficiency.

Obesity is a problem so there must still be a lot of people who, though aware of the problem, lack the will power to avoid the wrong foods. It could be that some people are unlucky and have a fat gene or a fault somewhere but this saying tells us that it is worthwhile to think before you eat. The best way to avoid overindulgence is not to have a lot of the wrong food in the house. Go shopping when you are full, not hungry, and buy the sensible stuff.

On the other hand you could throw caution to the wind and live like a medieval king - "eat, drink and be merry" and snuff it.

He that is not in the wars is not out of danger.

He that is not in the wars is not out of danger.

You can chose to avoid a conflict but the outcome might affect your interests and safety in any case.

This saying is warning us of the danger of sticking our heads in the sand and ignoring problems we are not immediately connected with. Conflicts have a habit of spreading and engulfing those who do not wish to get involved. Sometimes it is better to "take action against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them" as Shakespeare said.

It is an observation that can be applied to many situations and not just wars. Everyone has problems, disputes and difficulties, and it is sometimes better to tackle them head on rather than waiting for the tide to be lapping at your doorstep before taking action. It is all part of the idea of being prepared and practicing prevention.

The current hot topic is global warming and we are being urged to do something before catastrophe strikes. The natural tendency is not to worry about dangers that seem a long way off, after all we could spend all our time worrying about the many possibilities of disaster that could happen. It is necessary to find out the facts before make a judgment on the strength of potential harm and act accordingly.

Those of a worried disposition are often told: "Cheer up! It might never happen." But what if it does?

Reputation is commonly measured by the acre.

Reputation is commonly measured by the acre.

In the day and age when most wealth was in the form of land ownership this saying would be readily understood.

We all know people whose standing in a community is assessed not on their abilities or achievements but on the wealth that they own. There is an observable tendency for people to hero worship success and ascribe great worth to those who have acquired the things we all tend to envy. Inherited wealth might fall into the hands of a naturally able person who is given a good education by wise parents and this can lead to a flourishing of someone's talents, albeit as a result of privilege. It can also fall into the hands of unsuitable persons who will abuse the luck that fortune has bestowed.

The individual who succeeds on their own merit is not immune to folly either. A singer, for example, might become fabulously wealth by using their God given talent and the masses will wish to follow their styles, clothes, haircuts etc. and regard their every utterance as gospel. But very often they are one-trick ponies and their opinions and activities outside their one area of competence are no better and probably worse than average.

In assessing a person's ability it is important to go on the facts and not judge by appearances or possessions.

A colt is worth nothing unless he break his cord

A colt is worth nothing unless he break his cord.

A dull, docile horse might have its uses but without a bit of youthful spirit it does not show much promise.

Applied to humans this saying is telling us that a young man who kicks over the traces is not necessarily all bad, just experiencing the difficulties of growth and adaptation that we all must go through. Many young men pass through a tearaway phase in their youth but later mature into fine adults and worthy partners and fathers.

The rites of passage from youth to adulthood are often fraught with conflicts and emotional outbursts as the young person struggles to come to an understanding of themselves and the time that they are a part of. If everyone accepted the status quo in a dull-witted, subservient manner there would never be any progress. A civilization must have the flexibility and strength to be constantly adaptation to new challenges and changing circumstances.

The careers of many successful people often show a time when they were rebels and perhaps helped to establish a new trend. Such people can often refer back to a time when an establishment figure told them they were a waste of space and would amount to nothing in life. Years later they are multimillionaires and their critic is still doing a boring regular job or surviving on a small pension. Some young men are, of course, just a complete pain and need a good telling to put them right, and you can never be sure if it was the wise old voice that set them on the right course, by giving them something to prove, or they would have achieved everything anyway.

A spirited colt, once broken in and trained, makes a fine horse. As another saying has it: Fortune favors the bold.